The Olympic Sideburns — Self-titled

• Artist: The Olympic Sideburns
• Title: Self-titled
• Year: 1985
• Format: Vinyl 12 in.
• Rating (1-10): 8
• Owner: Tracy / Mary – both had copies
• Acquired: Not sure.
• Keeper: Yes

When you meet a woman who has the same Olympic Sideburns record as you, just marry her. That’s what I did. It’s not like you’re gonna get another chance. Though it’s the same record, we have different versions. Mary’s was released on Epitaph for the US, but made in the UK. My version is on New Rose, and it came with a “Limited Editon FREE 12′ EP.” That’s right, it’s a 12 foot EP. It’s huge! Look at the sticker on the pic below. This one also came with a cool songbook/comic book.

By looking at these guys you might be tempted to think this is just another 1980s band doing the ‘6os garage rock punk thing. Or maybe you’re not that hip. Anyhow, these guys are way deeper than that. I mean, they’re from Australia, so they can’t help but be weird, and cool. They were somewhat of an Aussie underground super-group, with rotating members who were all in other bands. I can’t explain the sound beyond saying that it’s energetic, slightly noisy, and rocked out in the weirdest way. I know they would’ve been great to see live.

Screamin’ Jay Hawkins (and The Fuzztones) — Live

• Artist: Screamin’ Jay Hawkins (and The Fuzztones)
• Title: Live
• Year: 1985
• Format: Vinyl 12 in.
• Rating (1-10): 7
• Owner: Tracy
• Acquired: 1985 – Mail order from the label, Midnight Records.
• Keeper: Yes

Screamin’ Jay Hawkins made a special guest appearance at a benefit show by The Fuzztones. These are the four songs on this short live record:

“Alligator Wine”
“I Put a Spell On You”
“It’s That Time Again”
“Constipation Blues”

I suppose this record could be filed under “F” for Fuzztones, but Mr. Hawkins appearance is what makes it special to me. So, “H” it is. From the crowd noise this sounds like a small club. When Fuzztones frontman Rudi Protrudi enthusiastically introduces Mr. Hawkins the crowd doesn’t exactly erupt like I would expect. What was wrong with those people?

X — Ain’t Love Grand

X -- Ain't Love Grand

• Artist: X
• Title: Ain’t Love Grand
• Year: 1985
• Format: Vinyl 12 in.
• Rating (1-10): 8
• Owner: Tracy
• Acquired: 1985 – Maybe Tracks Records in Norfolk, VA.
• Keeper: Yes

When this record came out I remember that I really loved the first (only?) single and video, “Burning House of Love.” This wasn’t quite the end for X, but in hindsight it seems that they had peaked earlier. There’s something flat about the production, or maybe it’s an overuse of keyboards that kinda takes the teeth out of some of the songs. There are also a couple songs I think they could’ve cut. Nowadays, my favorite song on “Ain’t Love Grand” is probably “My Goodness.” It’s a slow and slinky number sung by Exene that’s sounds more like classic lounge than classic punk, or roots rock.

I should’ve kept up with the band and its members over the last decade plus. I’m probably missing out on something special. So much music. So many artists. It can be hard to maintain hundreds of “relationships.” Which is the main reason I’m going through the entire record collection, one disk at a time.

Read all about X at “the official website.”

Faith No More — We Care A Lot

• Artist: Faith No More
• Title: We Care A Lot
• Year: 1985
• Format: Vinyl 12 in.
• Rating (1-10): 6
• Owner: Mary ?
• Acquired: 1985 – Plan 9 Records in Richmond, VA.
• Keeper: Yes

Come on. You know you like the title track, “We Care a Lot.” But I could believe it if you said that was it. This is the first Faith No More record and one of only two with Chuck Mosley on vocals. I could never get over the keyboard droning through just about every song. Applause for trying something different, but to me the keyboards just took the teeth off the otherwise hard rock sound. One last tidbit I just noticed, in more than one spot on this album they spell the band’s name “Faith. No More.” That’s: excessive, punctuation!!!

I’ll keep this one short. We’re off to see the Caps take on the Atlanta Thrashers. Time to take out the Thrash!

ABC — How To Be A Zillionaire!

• Artist: ABC
• Title: How To Be A Zillionaire!
• Year: 1985
• Format: Vinyl 12 in.
• Rating (1-10): 8
• Owner: Mary
• Acquired: 1985 ? — I don’t know, girl keeps going to bed early.
• Keeper: Yes

OK, back to the full LPs for another round. Starting again with ABC, the greatest pop band of all time. No, I’m not kidding. I’m posting this from Hampton, VA while we’re visiting with family. (Don’t rob my house!) But of course I did in fact spin it, while we were packing to leave this morning… With ten million other freaks trying to get outta DC, in the rain, at the start of spring break. Ugh.

“How To Be A Zillionaire!” is their third album and I have to admit I don’t know it as well as the first two. And certainly not as well as Mary. What would she have to say about it? She’d probably say the title track is her favorite and that she also really likes “Be Near Me.” But since she keeps falling out early we may never know.

R.E.M. — Wendell Gee

• Artist: R.E.M.
• Title: Wendell Gee
• Year: 1985
• Format: Vinyl 7 in.
• Rating (1-10): 7
• Owner: Mary
• Acquired: ? – She’s outta town. Who knows where and when.
• Keeper: Yes

This is a handsome twin 7 inch gatefold package that includes the songs “Wendell Gee”, “Ages Of You”, “Crazy” and “Burning Down.” I don’t know. Maybe I’m finally mellowing out in my old age. As I lap through these R.E.M. records I’m starting to like them more. I’ll admit, they are good, but I still don’t see myself getting the urge to play these often.

Echo and The Bunnymen — Bring On The Dancing Horses

• Artist: Echo and The Bunnymen
• Title: Bring On The Dancing Horses
• Year: 1985
• Format: Vinyl 7 in.
• Rating (1-10): 7
• Owner: Mary
• Acquired: 1985 – Unknown origin.
• Keeper: Yes

Echo and The Bunnymen, similar to Black Sabbath, made their best music on the first four albums. “Bring On The Dancing Horses” came later. I like it more than other later singles, but much less than the music on the first four LPs. Now this I find strange: The flipside is “Read It In Books” which was on their first record “Crocodiles” from five years earlier. Mary’s theory is that since the band was finally getting popular in the US they put that on the flip to encourage new fans to also get the back catalog stuff. I think if that was the reason they should’ve picked something more immediately appealing like, say, “Rescue.”

The James Baker Experience — I Can’t Control Myself!

• Artist: The James Baker Experience
• Title: I Can’t Control Myself!
• Year: 1985
• Format: Vinyl 7 in.
• Rating (1-10): 7
• Owner: Tracy
• Acquired: 1985 – Bought it at Plan 9 Records in Richmond, VA.
• Keeper: Maybe

No, not that James Baker. This is the guy who was the drummer briefly for those Australian masters of dirge, The Scientists (I have almost all their records) and then eventually with the much better-known Hoodoo Gurus.

This comes off as a fun little side project. Two goofy little dittys that sounded retro even back in 1985. I’d rate it a 6 but I had to give it a bonus point for the packaging and the flipside song title, “Born To Be Punched.” Oh yeah, that stuff does matter.

ABC — Be Near Me

• Artist: ABC
• Title: Be Near Me
• Year: 1985
• Format: Vinyl 7 in.
• Rating (1-10): 7
• Owner: Mary
• Acquired: 1985 – She bought it when was working at Tower Records in DC.
• Keeper: Yes

This is a second first for the record collection log. Last night was the first “various artists” record and today I’m logging the first 7 inch. Turns out it’s actually a twin pack. ABC, the greatest pop band ever, put out a specially packaged single of “Be Near Me” with “A To Z” on the flip. The package also included a single with remixes of “Poison Arrow” and “Look of Love” from their first record.

I had just put the needle down on “Be Near Me” when Mary was walking in the house. She was compelled to strike the universal rock and roll pose, one hand pointing to the sky with feet spread apart, because she loves ABC. So much in fact that she was inspired to make herself a blue fake fur jacket similar to the one that what’s-her-face in the band had at the time. If you’re not gonna marry a woman who wears a blue fake fur jacket then who? That’s what mama always said.

Wall of Voodoo — Far Side of Crazy

Wall of Voodoo -- Far Side of Crazy

• Artist: Wall of Voodoo
• Title: Far Side of Crazy
• Year: 1985
• Format: Vinyl 12 in.
• Rating (1-10): 6
• Owner: Mary
• Acquired: 1985 – Promo Mary got when working at Plan 9 Records in Richmond, VA.
• Keeper: Yes

This is just a 12″ promo. Both sides have the exact same LP version of “Far Side of Crazy” and nothing else. This is the only Wall of Voodoo recording we have, I think. I like this song better than the bigger hit, “Mexican Radio.” Mary says keep it. I say no reasonable offer refused. Keep that on the DL.